☀Dave Strider☀ [TG] turntechGodhead (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moveslikestrider) wrote2013-11-30 10:03 pm
moveslikestrider) wrote2013-11-30 10:03 pm
[Video - 011]
First things first, what asshole thought, 'hm I don't think making turkeys are confusing enough. I'm going to put a BAG on it like I'm covering up a grisly murder scene'. I'm dying to know what went through their head. They went as far as to label the bag 'fool proof'.
[The blond teenager talking makes finger quotes with his fingers as he continues on.]
I think they should have named it, 'screwing with you'. That stupid thing does nothing and apparently you're supposed to slit it up the sides anyway?? How is that a bag?? That's a cover not a plastic all encompassing container for your meat.
And those instructions.
[He jabs a finger at the screen this time and his aviator shades fall down his nose. He pushes them up and yes, yes he's not done.]
What's wrong with, okay so the bird is bigger than the neighbor's dog. You need to roast your fowl in the hot box for X hours. No, no, they have to complicate that too.
[He picks up those handy instructions anyone gets with a large turkey and waves them at the gear.]
We suggest you add 30 minutes per pound to the cooking time. As if that is going to make sense to all of us. I mean, about about those people who are shit at math. Or the ovens built entirely differently.
And check the warnings you find every time. [He thwacks the booklet with a sharp pop with the back of his hand.] 'Do not drop frozen turkey on you or your pets.' Who is stupid enough not to just dethaw it in a clean tub on the floor. Or in the sink, you know, away from anything critter or human??
[He grumbles and moves to shut the gear off then pauses.] Oh right.
So the sky opened up and acted like it was doomsday with wind. We all know that. But if you ran across a nerd who talks a lot about ghosts and may or may not have an omanyte with him that beelines for porcelain thrones or bathtubs, tell him to call home already.
If he ran off already. I dunno, tell me and I'll add it to the kicks to his shin when I find him.
[The blond teenager talking makes finger quotes with his fingers as he continues on.]
I think they should have named it, 'screwing with you'. That stupid thing does nothing and apparently you're supposed to slit it up the sides anyway?? How is that a bag?? That's a cover not a plastic all encompassing container for your meat.
And those instructions.
[He jabs a finger at the screen this time and his aviator shades fall down his nose. He pushes them up and yes, yes he's not done.]
What's wrong with, okay so the bird is bigger than the neighbor's dog. You need to roast your fowl in the hot box for X hours. No, no, they have to complicate that too.
[He picks up those handy instructions anyone gets with a large turkey and waves them at the gear.]
We suggest you add 30 minutes per pound to the cooking time. As if that is going to make sense to all of us. I mean, about about those people who are shit at math. Or the ovens built entirely differently.
And check the warnings you find every time. [He thwacks the booklet with a sharp pop with the back of his hand.] 'Do not drop frozen turkey on you or your pets.' Who is stupid enough not to just dethaw it in a clean tub on the floor. Or in the sink, you know, away from anything critter or human??
[He grumbles and moves to shut the gear off then pauses.] Oh right.
So the sky opened up and acted like it was doomsday with wind. We all know that. But if you ran across a nerd who talks a lot about ghosts and may or may not have an omanyte with him that beelines for porcelain thrones or bathtubs, tell him to call home already.
If he ran off already. I dunno, tell me and I'll add it to the kicks to his shin when I find him.