[When Dave turns on his gear and checks his messages, you know what he'll find? Lots and lots of black text. It looks like Bro messaged him from the day he went into the sleep coma all the way up to now. It's all meaningless shit. Lots of 'dave. hey dave.' and 'wake your ass up.' and also 'i swear to god im tempted to put you in a thong and hang you from a flag pole if you dont get the fuck up right now.'
Luckily he didn't. There're lots more, but they're rather mundane. Mostly Bro just rambling about pointless shit like butts and puppets and how much Lil Cal misses his ass.
But today, there's even more, as he's found out that Dave is awake. Instead of doing the sensible thing and going to see him, he's just going to rely on technology.]
dave. yo. hey bro. i know youre awake. come on. pick up your gear. dave. daverykins. yo. dave. dave. derv. derve strerder. tsundave stridere. dave dave bo bave. banana fana fo fave. me mi mo mave. oh my fucking god. what the hell are you doing? i mean besides not paying any attention to me. im bored. did you know that blake is a pony? yeah. you should ask him about that one day. i mean if you ever see this. also masato has a nice butt. just thought you should know. fuck me with a cactus, talking to myself is so goddamn fun. christ. are you still a gradient? you were asleep a while after all. like goddamn how long was it? six months? a year? it feels like it was a goddamn long time. we still need to go dragon hunting. why havent we done that yet, you dickhead? oh right. because youve been asleep forever and a day. dave come the fuck on pick up. stop doing whatever it is youre doing. im gonna die. nevermind. its too late. i see the light. goodbye. im gone. rip. here lies bro. his brosonthing ignored him. it was fatal. he leaves all possessions to lil cal. heeheehee. hooohooohoo.
June 20th- text
Luckily he didn't. There're lots more, but they're rather mundane. Mostly Bro just rambling about pointless shit like butts and puppets and how much Lil Cal misses his ass.
But today, there's even more, as he's found out that Dave is awake. Instead of doing the sensible thing and going to see him, he's just going to rely on technology.]
dave.
yo.
hey bro.
i know youre awake.
come on. pick up your gear.
dave.
daverykins.
yo.
dave.
dave.
derv.
derve strerder.
tsundave stridere.
dave dave bo bave.
banana fana fo fave.
me mi mo mave.
oh my fucking god.
what the hell are you doing?
i mean besides not paying any attention to me.
im bored.
did you know that blake is a pony?
yeah.
you should ask him about that one day.
i mean if you ever see this.
also masato has a nice butt.
just thought you should know.
fuck me with a cactus, talking to myself is so goddamn fun.
christ.
are you still a gradient?
you were asleep a while after all.
like goddamn how long was it? six months?
a year?
it feels like it was a goddamn long time.
we still need to go dragon hunting.
why havent we done that yet, you dickhead?
oh right.
because youve been asleep forever and a day.
dave come the fuck on pick up.
stop doing whatever it is youre doing.
im gonna die.
nevermind.
its too late.
i see the light.
goodbye.
im gone.
rip.
here lies bro.
his brosonthing ignored him.
it was fatal.
he leaves all possessions to lil cal.
heeheehee.
hooohooohoo.