moveslikestrider | Route IC Contact

Augh. You're such a nook sniffing asshole, you know that?

Of course I'd still like to be friends with the ankle-biting barnacle head. Like I really need more of a disconnect with the shithive maggots friends that I've had since, well, before I can remember. Since I still think of him as a friend ( mostly! ) and I don't know, Dave. It'd just be nice if, for once, someone took my lectures seriously without stirring up so much shit about it.

You tried telling him all this? Actually, that's a bad idea. There's a lot to this I don't really understand. Because my culture and your culture don't really mix. I think you need to give this one a little time. Don't give up, but see what develops for a few weeks.

I wasn't going to tell him all of this. I'm pretty sure he'd just scoff and say that it was obvious that it would happen because I've been around humans too long or some shit.

Wow, we are not that terrible of a species. We have tacos. [Not the point, Dave.]

Maybe he just doesn't know of the divine joy that comes from taking a bite of a freshly put together taco.

I bet that's it. He hasn't had the sacred ritual rite of biting into soft doughy tortilla or the sharp crunch of corn chip like goodness wrapped around layers of suculent still sizzling beef, garnished with cheese and tomatoes, with a little bit of fresh green tossed in.

Maybe he hates the beef. There's always turkey or chicken. Or even fish.

Fish taco? That has to be either a euphemism or the most disgusting thing on earth.

You've never had fish here?

Not a fish taco and mostly I stick to shrimp?

Well there you go then. Shrimp taco. Probably no salsa though, a lime zest would be better.

You first.

You betting me to a weird food tasting? Is that what I'm hearing?

...

Why the fuck not, yeah I am.

For the record, shrimp tacos is technically shrimp faijitas, but anyway. Challenge accepted.

For you? Pretzels and peanut butter. Go.

You mean I'm supposed to run off and fetch said morsels and present my masticating them to your boy band face?

Why would I want to watch you eat it? I trust your word. Do you really think I belong in a boy band? Do I look like the sort of tool that would pose all pretty for the camera and belt out shitty pop lyrics?

Yes.

Okay, if you're going to play that card. You look like one of those talk show hosts or angry stand up artists that spend most of the time ranting on and making gestures with their hands. You are Dennis Leary. It is you.

Thank you, Dave. You say the cutest things. Come, whisper more sweet nothings into the Gear so that I might fan myself and swoon.

Nah, I ain't a home wrecker.

...

Anyway, I'll go grab that delicious bet you challenged me to. I know a good place in town for it.

Yeah... Be right back I guess.

[Fifteen minutes later, he returns to the feed with the sizzling sound of a delicious fajita plate and the clunk of it against a table.] You ready?

Mostly. I had to get bagged pretzels because there were no stands open or anything.

Let me know when you're ready to get this started.

[ clicks on video! ]

Let's do it.

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