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It's not that bad. [Holding back was for people who didn't get attacked for most of the years they were growing up. Dave steps closer, putting his hands on John's shoulders to get a good look at the damage he'd done. It had been a panicked swing. If he'd been serious, John would have probably been knocked from his feet.

I'm not suicidal enough to try this on the ninjas.

Yet he is dumb enough to go scaring his best friend who knows how to wield swords and had nearly stabbed him last time. Okay. That makes a hell of a lot of sense.]

I have all the spirit for the holiday. What I don't have spirit for is being stalked like Bro got all his powers and skills back and about to bust out with Cal. Next thing I'll know if that happens, is the gritty sand of butler island and smarting from the last googly eyed headbutt I got to the face.

Come on, let's get you to the kitchen and we'll take care of that.

[Instead of letting John walk on his own power, Dave just pushes the door open and nudges him out. If he's allowed to, he'll guide him down to the kitchen before he lets go to rummage in the ice box. The whole way he's still tense and aware of every little creak of the house. It's like being in the presence of a hawk that misses nothing.]

[Don't question his logic, okay. It's flawless. There's a difference between a Strider ninja and an actual ninja-ninja that John couldn't honestly put into words if anybody were to ask but he knows it's there. It's a fine distinction that causes him to see ninja-ninjas as a bigger threat, despite the fact that Dave's skills and prowess are honestly on about the same level.]

Well it wasn't going to work if you weren't on edge a little! But okay, next time I'll stick to the classics. You can fully expect to find a bucket full of pumpkin guts above a door at some point next year. You won't know when or which door...but you will know full well that it was intended for you.

But yeah, alright.

[John slips his glasses back on as they make their way downstairs. Last thing he needs is to make this worse by tripping because he can't see or something. Imhotep follows after them, though hangs back a little. It's almost as though he's aware of the fact that He Done Fucked Up, despite the fact that most (if not all) of the blame lies with John. But hey, creepy though he is, the Cofagrigus loves his master and wants to make sure he's okay.]

[...Though he's pretty sure Elliot the Dusknoir is going to ream his ghostly ass for actually going along with this instead of being sensible. Oh boy, lets put off Ghost Dad finding out about this for as long as possible, can we?]

[John takes a seat at the kitchen table, waiting patiently for Dave to dig through the ice box and staring vaguely out the window. Imhotep settles himself by the door, still hesitant to come too close until John beckons him over, reaching up and the Cofagrigus's "head".]

Come on now, why the long face? You did good, this wasn't your fault. Barely even hurts, I promise! [Which is...basically a lie because it does hurt but, you know. Gotta make sure the Pokémon doesn't worry.] You can go back outside with the everyone else, I'm in good hands with Dave. [Imhotep makes a vaguely upset-sounding noise, flexing the fingers on all four of his hands, which causes John to giggle.] Yes, I know you have twice as many hands as he does, but really, he knows what he's doing. [He paps the ghost, who seems to Get It at that point and leaves the room, though not without a few backward glances at both boys while doing so.]

[Something visibly eases in Dave once he draws an ice pack out of the freezer. This is the world he knows. With the skill of practice, he wraps a towel around it and sets it on the table. He motions for John to take off his glasses again.] The thing they don't tell you is you shouldn't keep an ice or heat pack on for more than ten minutes. You're chilling or heating that area. Too long and it gets damaged.

Ten minutes on, ten minutes off.

[He presents the package to John as he adds.] Eat yet? Or have you been busy stalking a tiger all day and forgot to?

[John takes his glasses off as instructed, pressing the ice pack to his eye and saluting Dave with the other hand.] Sir, yes sir!

[See, he can't be hurt too badly, he's still cracking jokes.]

For the record though, I wasn't the one stalking you all day. Imhotep wouldn't let me stay in there for more than a couple of minutes in case something happened. He's not the same as Elliot, bad things can happen inside a Cofagrigus if you aren't careful. [John, please examine your life choices and think on them.]

Anyway, yeah I ate. Uh...breakfast, at least.

Wait you climb into Elliot too?? Do you not read the little pokedex blurbs or is this a case of not listening to them. [Dave stares at him and opens the fridge to check for leftovers. What can he nab that would serve as a good lunch?

Like a goddess, there's a pair of pizza boxes that would twinkle and sparkle if it were a cartoon. He snags both of them (they're teenagers they'll eat all of it) and carries them over to the table all waiter style.]

Lunch is on the house.

Anyway, is there any hints to what this bad thing is. Or will you be calling me from the Poke'center one day going, "Guess what I found out!". I really don't want that call, John. I want you to call me late at night when I'm supposed to be dead to the world for anything other than that.

Edited 2013-11-11 19:56 (UTC)

Yeah! Rose has been in there with me too. It's actually pretty comfy, you should join me some time. But I've had Elliot since he was a baby, he would never do anything to hurt me and I pretty much trust him with my life.

[Actual best ghost dad-butler. John reaches forward and grabs a slice of cold pizza because screw heating that stuff up. It just makes the cheese taste funny when you do that.]

Anyway, I think it's a little different with trainer-raised Pokémon. Kinda like how trainer-raised Shedinja won't nab your soul if you accidentally peek inside their backs. Wild ones though...

[Completely different story.]

So don't worry, you won't be getting any calls like that. [Hopefully.] Hell, this might be the first and only time I do it, given how unsure Imhotep was about it. I don't think he wanted to accidentally turn me into a real mummy, which is supposedly something they can do if people get inside them.

[He casually takes a bite of pizza as he says this. How John has managed to survive this long in Pokémon World without serious incident is a real wonder when you really sit down and think about it.]

Maybe you should heed his advice, it is his body. He knows it better than anyone. [Dave points out as he picks up a slice of pizza. He wolfs down the slice before he keeps going. He hasn't had time to sit down and eat lunch. Normally he'd have had it by now. Being paranoid and wary of something following him had spoiled his appetite.]

I mean despite being trainer-raised there are probably some dangerous things still happening. A sword doesn't stop being a sword just because it changed hands. It's still a lethal fucking weapon even if you dull the edges. Some Japanese style swords have a duller edge and were used for assassinations and stuff like that. They end dirtied the blade so it would make the wound all the more fatal if they didn't quite kill their targets.

Yeah, yeah. [If he had a free hand, you can bet he'd be waving it. But it hasn't been ten minutes yet so the ice is still on his eye and the other hand is occupied with the all-important pizza. And pizza > hand gestures.]

I heeded it enough not to stay in there for more than a couple of minutes, didn't I? [He takes another bite of pizza.]

Haha, that's kinda gross though, the whole dirtying their weapons thing. [A beat.] In fact, you could say that they were... [Okay, he actually puts the pizza down for this one, forming a single pistol with his now-free hand.] fighting dirty.

[Dave's expression goes from thoughtful and concerned to unimpressed. He swallows a few more bites of pizza.] That was the most awful pun I've ever heard. You didn't even make it witty. It just flopped on the floor like a fish out of water, gasping for the wit air you didn't give it.

[He swallows more pizza and wolfs down another slice. Dave stares at the sauce on his fingers then just pops a finger in his mouth, sucking on it.] Why you gotta hurt a guy like that.

Scuze you, that was plenty witty! Your sense of humor just isn't as finely tuned as mine. But that's okay, [He puts down his pizza and claps his hand on Dave's shoulder, giving him a serious-yet-supportive look.] we all have things we're bad at.

[Dave set his food down and without another word just walked away. Witty? No, that pun was so terrible even the dead went 'duddddde baaad'.]

Hey what. Wait! Where are you going!? Oh my god, I was kidding!! [John sets the ice pack down and twists in his chair to call to Dave.] Dude, come on, get back here!!

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