moveslikestrider

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[Audio]

ugh shit my head feels like it got smashed up against a couple of walls
if this is what a hangover feels like that noise can skip right off somewhere
i dont even care where just somewhere??
ahahaha that was not a witty sentence at all
f minus for dave strider and his attempts to sort himself out
speaking of that why does it feel like im in a vice thats
[There's a rustling sound from the gear followed by a sharp inhale of breath.]
is this for real seriously
i cant even decide what to think about this because im not getting enough air in this two sizes too small shirt get up
i mean it makes my ass look incredible
this is so stupid i cant even lift a leg without my pants threatening to give up the ghost
who the hell decided to shrink my sweet gear thats just a traversity
well its not exactly sweet its something out of a renaissance fair
how the fuck am i going to get out of this stuff its pasted onto me like glue
who the hell would do that though that just seems dumber than spending all this time remarking about this
[There's a growl that echoes before Dave keeps going.]
what oh hey
i remember you
feels like its been a year since we shared the sky together and went darting around like we lost our minds
why did i give you shades that just seems so dumb in retrospect like trying to pay homage to something when the real deal is around
but between you and me this doesnt feel like my life anymore
i couldnt really believe it when i had it because its so picture perfect straight out of some fantasy a lonely guy might have

--RRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-- wait what the fuck?

[Dave's soliloquy about his ill-fitting clothes is brought to an abrupt halt by the tail end of a very loud, very aggravated shout. It might be hard to tell exactly who the voice belongs to at first, since it can be a little difficult to judge nonsensical yelling. But once he starts speaking, it becomes clear that the voice belongs to John Egbert.]

Where the hell am I? [A slight pause, during which time we can only assume that John takes survey of his surroundings and discovers...] DAVE!!!! Oh my god, it's great to finally see you again! Wherever here is!

[There's an array of vague bumping, stumbling, and rustling noises that we're going to assume is John getting out of his own bed and moving over to Dave's. Because that's exactly what it is. Unfortunately, he still doesn't seem to have remembered how to use his indoor voice because he's still kind of yelling.]

I missed you so mu-- where are my sweet god tier pajamas? What the hell is this, it doesn't even fit!!!

[There's a sound almost like laughter but it's a bit muffled.]
ok ok lets remember not to bellow like some beast
were in a hospital here
what if you woke some poor old lady or something

Why are we in a hospital...?

[It's quieter, but...ultimately, not enough. Because before Dave gets the chance to answer another growl can be heard, but it's decidedly not of the Pokemon race.]

Jesus fucking Christ will the two of you SHUT THE FUCK UP?!

[It sounds like something fluffy and soft hit at least one of them at a rather high velocity followed by a second one and then more from the now recognizable voice of Rose Lalonde.]

I swear to god neither of you know how the fuck to be quiet do you? Is that a hard concept? I thought not but apparently you both still know how to surprise me! Jesus fuck my head feels like it's splitting open ugh. Fucking asinine Skaia-vexing addlepates I swear to GOD.

[ooc: Translation with no colors: here.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you okay?

[ You're being weirdly unenthusiastic! ...Wait. She's listening to the rest, and is actually getting increasingly worried. John didn't, like, go home, and then come back without remembering things, did he?

Wouldn't he be in New Bark if that had happened, though? ]

Umm...yes? And yes, you're right!! See, you do remember! But...what's the last thing back home you remember? You were pretty far behind from my standpoint, so maybe you're just juggling a lot.

[ temporal shenanigans she can do, and she actually...sounds a lot more authoritative there. THIS IS ACCEPTABLE TOMFOOLERY. ]

John? Did you hurt yourself???

No I just...got tackled by this little fuzzy...sheep. Thing. [There's a long pause while he has a staredown with his Whimsicott.]

But uh, anyway. Okay, so remember how you and Vriska pretty much dared me to touch the magic intangible treasure? And then I disappeared? Okay well I started like... zapping all over the place after that. I think through time and maybe also through space? Because I saw myself in the past at one point but then I think I also saw Dave in the future? And an adult troll hissed at me at one point. Then I ran into this weird green skull guy in suspenders and one of his other weird green buddies clocked me pretty hard and I wound up on this weird planet covered in grass and red stonehenges. And it had these funky like... crevasses filled with purple stuff? They were kinda like rivers but not really. I think it was one of the planets in the new session? Because we broke through the window thing and the ship was big again but...nobody else was there. Not Jade or Dave sprite or any of the consorts or weird chess people or Nanna.

[He's gone full ramble mode, hopefully Aradia didn't want to get a word in edgewise because he barely even sounds like he's stopping to take a breath himself.]

It was really boring and lonely and did I mention boring? Because it was super boring. So I tried to entertain myself for a bit and I kind of ended up just screaming at the sky. There was a flash of green light and when I opened my eyes... I was here. In the Saffron Pokécenter.

Wait shit it's happening again. Dave and Rose and I met up here and then... ugh.

[Can he just go back to sleep until his head stops hurting and things make sense again? Please?]

Wait... why do you even care about this?

[ Oh wow John's chatty today. Aradia's listening, but this...isn't enlightening her as much as he might think. But she understands the gist of what is going on almost immediately. ]

I actually do not remember that! I think you've just hopscotched over me. And I used to be furthest ahead with Kanaya and Dave...also, are you sure I dared you to touch a magic intangible treasure? It seems more likely I would have advised you not to do so, since that sounds like a pretty silly idea.

[ EVERYONE KNOWS THAT MAGICAL INTANGIBLE TREASURES ARE BOOBY-TRAPPED, JOHN... ]

So you were warping around back home like you were here? Your luck is pretty interesting. I can't tell if it's good or bad!

[ wait what ]

Why wouldn't I care about this? We're friends! And even if memory comas don't hurt people as such, it's still nice to hear you're back. I missed talking to all of you! And I have pictures to send you, too.

...we're friends?

[This is news to him, apparently. Like...okay, you seemed nice to him and all, Aradia. You really did. But then you revealed that you are actually completely fucking batshit and John is a little confused how they apparently went from that to the friendship stage.]

Are you sure you aren't the one who hopscotched? Because our last conversation, which was also our first one kind of... uh... well you said you wanted to watch everything break apart and to be honest that really kind of freaked me out a little!! Do you really not remember that?

[ Is he like friend breaking up with her, is that what's happening here? ]

Er, yes? The last thing I remember is Meenah and Vriska arguing over what we were going to do next, although their goals aren't actually mutually exclusive...And I thought we were friends? Isn't friendship what was happening here? You send me texts and everything, and I helped to prank Dave! And I pranked troll you.

[ ...ALTHOUGH NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT... ]

Speaking of back home, though - you're right, it would actually be pretty interesting to see everything break apart!

[No he's just having brain problems. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND BREAK UP WITH HIM. He's just going through some stuff right now, please standby. Friendship will resume once the memory integration process is complete.]

~~[Beep beep beep.... processing.]~~

You're smiling right now, aren't you? You're doing that really creepy ass smile again because I suddenly feel the need to run away again even though we aren't even in the same vicinity right now.

You ran away from me?

[ 8C ]

...Wait, you remember me? I mean you did say I was talking to you, but - we got to meet in person?

[ 8D

she may be doing the creepy ass smile, yes. Although it got markedly less creepy just now. Hang on, she will flip options. This is exciting!! ]

What were we doing? You mentioned treasure? The treasure Vriska was looking for, I presume?

[Oh hey cool. This thing does have a video feature! Neat. John appears on the screen, his shiny Whimsicott clinging to his shoulder and looking a little distressed. Why doesn't he remember her. WHY DOESN'T HE REMEMBER THIS IS TERRIBLE.]

[Poor Phoebe.]

You seriously don't remember? Wait, of course you don't. That's on par for Johto. People being all over the place in the timeline and fuck that is really starting to get annoying!

[He whines, corners of his mouth turned down slightly as pinches the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up in the process. Can he stop remembing random scraps of information of his life in Johto? Or can it like all happen at once, cohesively? This is obnoxious.]

But yeah, we met in person. You were on Vriska's pirate ship with Sollux and that jerk with the bullhorns... wait he's actually not a jerk, is he? He's actually kind of a nice guy? Tavros. Dammit, I know he is a rude little buttmunch, so why does saying that feel wrong now? [So. Obnoxious.] Anyway, and Meenah and Vriska's ancestor who likes to talk a lot was there too. Aranea? Oh and Feferi and Nepeta showed up at one point too for some reason. Anyway, Vriska was doing her crazy thing where she sacrificed all her ghost troll friends so that Lord Spanglish or whatever the fuck his name was would lead you guys to the ultimate treasure [He lifts his hands and wiggles his fingers for emphasis.] that will defeat him. Aranea told us all about cherub sex and Leprechaun romance but then Meenah interrupted her because I guess even ghosts still have to pee?

[Ramble mode: engage for a second time. Please fasten your seatbelts and try not to roll your eyes too much at the pointless details and John's piss-poor storytelling.]

But that's not important, anyway we found the cave that housed the treasure and you and I had a conversation that I already kind of alluded to where I asked you how you felt about Vriska's crazy plan where she was basically double murdering all the ghost bros. And you said it didn't really bother you because you look at death differently or whatever so then I asked what you wanted out of all this and you said that thing that I said you said, and at that point Vriska got onto us for lollygagging and Aranea wanted to tell us another story anyway so I went up to go walk with them because story time holy shit that's exciting! So she tells us about these two rings and then Vriska flips her shit because I guess some orange guy tried to give her the magic ring that will bring ghosts back to life but she didn't take it because he was a weirdo? Then Tavros broke up with her and flew away while flipping us all the double bird. Then Sollux left with Feferi and Nepeta because he didn't feel comfortable with anything Vriska was doing and didn't want to be out-backboned by Tavros. Which, wow that suddenly makes more sense? He used to be kind of a wimp wasn't he? Back when he was in his wheelchair?

[A beat.]

Goddammit, I am just going to stop questioning how I know this stuff. Because I guess it was because I have been here all along? Fuck, I'm getting sidetracked. Anyway! So that just left you, me, Vriska, Aranea, and Meenah. Vriska lead us to the treasure which was in this red chest and then she had another fit for reasons I don't think any of us understood and she dumped it on the floor. Turns out the treasure is an intangible, flashing, transparent SBURB logo, which is why Vriska wanted you to come along on the expedition. So you could use your psychic troll powers to levitate it because it was impossible to pick up otherwise. Which you said sounded like a dare so I stuck my hand in it and sure enough, my hand went right through it. But then it made me disappear.

[Did you catch all that, Aradia? Feel free to ask him to repeat.]

[ John's lucky Aradia has enough knowledge of everything going on to make some sort of sense of that. It's pretty easy to extrapolate some points, but some of the others are brief "wait what"s although she doesn't stop to question them right now. The important thing is being caught up! And apparently John is really, really caught up.

Okay, she has to break this down a bit. ]

Lord English; she formed her army, then? I wonder how many people actually joined! And of course I look at death differently! You know I was dead for a long time! Or you usually know that, but I guess you might not know that right now! And the rings sound pretty important!!

Tavros lost his temper with Vriska? My word! That took a while. You know, she was the one who put him in that wheelchair. That's why I died! That's all so nostalgic, actually!!

Hmmm. That does sound like a dare! So you took the dare and it did things? Nice!

Spanglish sounds better though, he really should think about changing it. What kind of name is Lord English, anyway? Like is he a super British guy or something?

Um...the thing with the army though is, none of them really... joined. Vriska kind of forced them to with her mind control. And Aranea helped her which I understand is strange for her since Meenah said she is not normally the unscrupulous type. She also hugged me which was... strange. Considering that usually she stabs me when she sees me. But that was kind of a nice chang-- OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT THE STABBING THING ALL ALONG, ARADIA!!!

[There we go, now he's talking like the John we all remember and possibly love.]

Like... wow holy shit! I do get stabbed a lot! Or did, rather. Future me. Who I guess is now present me since suddenly I am completely in the loop! Hahaha, oh my god. Wow! [He puts a hand to his forehead and just kind of keeps on laughing sounding only very slightly unhinged.]

[It'll be okay John, just... just breathe.]

I don't know! It's funny because "English" calls to mind both Jake and our enemy, and they're both sort of opposite!

[ ...Why is this a surprise, John. ] Well, of course! That's how she killed me, too. She used mind control and killed me via Sollux! I'm not sure why you find this strange? Killing isn't really a new thing, she was pretty vicious in flarp, too. [ she doesn't sound that put out about it, though.

OH, YAY, JOHN!!!! ]

You do! That's why I warned you about it! You really should be careful talking to Meenah, I think she's making a game out of it. Stabbing you, I mean!

[He just keeps laughing and it's a wonder if he actually heard anything that she said. John Egbert has finally snapped, it seems.]

Ahaha, oh my god you were so right. You warned me about Meenah! You warned me dog!!! Ahaha...hahahoooo... [He wipes a tear away from the corner of his eye.]

Anyway yeah I knew she killed you and Tavros. Or I do now I guess? I mean she never actually said it was you, just that it was a girl. But I remember her telling me about it here at one point. But I guess I just... never actually realized how crazy it was until it was on such a large scale.

[Wow this got suddenly serious.]

Like... I tried to understand? Or to at least just chalk it up to cultural differences. And she did seem sorry about killing you and Tavros but then when it came to the ghosts... she wasn't really sorry at all. I just... I don't know. It kinda scared me.

[ Nah, he's not ironing his pants yet.

Aradia, for her part, doesn't seem to actually mind John's mental breakdown, happily smiling and waiting patiently for him to wind down. It's not as though she hasn't had mental breakdowns of her own before! As mental breakdowns go, this one is fairly tame. ] I did warn you! I actually don't want you to get stabbed, although I suppose it hasn't done you any lasting damage so far!

I'm not surprised she didn't tell you, and I don't think it really matters as such at this point! Although Sollux is still upset about it. [ Aradia should probably be more concerned than she is, but she's...done with the dying, and the dwelling on it. ]

Hmmmm. I think Terezi would probably have been able to give you better insight into Vriska, you know. For me...I think that there are a lot of cultural differences; humans are a lot more...friendly? No, that's not it. I mean, there's less... [ She bites her lip, trying to figure out how to phrase it. ] Hm. I think you know what I mean regardless.

But even in our group, no one really cared for Vriska's methods on the whole, which I suppose says something about them considering I don't think you'd care for many of the methods we utilized and accepted? I think she's very good at playing games, and it's a good thing that she wants to win for our team, but I couldn't say that I would trust her beyond specific parameters and the absolute knowledge that our goals were the same.

[ She considers that for a moment. ]

If then! Scourge Sisters are tricksy. You should know that already!

...I am sorry it scared you, though. [ She at least remembers the moirail thing. ]

[Let's not even get started on the moirail thing. That's going to be a whole different emotional crisis when it finally hits him. Probably in the middle of dinner or something else laughably terrible.]

Shhh, you will jinx me! I really don't want to get stabbed again it sucks big time. Like, I don't know if Meenah ever got stab happy on you during PirateQuest, but it's a terrible way to go and I really don't advise it.

But yeah, I get what you mean. It's kind of hard to really explain the differences in a way that doesn't come off as offensive one way or the other. We're just very different species when it comes to certain topics. And killing is one of them.

[He waves a hand dismissively.]

And I have kind of had enough of that topic for now, personally. So instead, what was you mentioned about having new pictures to show me?

[ John's life, man. ]

I've yet to be the target of her trident! But even if I were, I could probably manage it. I have time on my side, normally! Well, I also think she sort of just doesn't like Megidos? Or rather she finds my dancestor unsettling, which is sort of understandable. But I think they're friends! Although there was mutual killing and stuff.

[ Moving on is always fine with her, though! ]

Oh! Just the usual things. Of my pokemon, and a flower whose name I didn't now, so I was wondering if you knew it? There aren't any ruins around this area, sadly! I wish there were, that would make it so much more fun!

Yeah, I kinda got that. She had this like... sort of mini meltdown slash identity crisis on me. She called you Softcore Megido and said she could take you or leave you, you're alright she guesses. Her words, not mine!

[Meenah is weird. Trolls are weird.]

Oh riiiight. Okay, we send pictures to each other sometimes. That's a thing we do. I remember now. I wasn't exactly sure what you meant by that, which is why I asked but. Yes. You will have to show me those at some point though I make no promise about the flower. Jade might know though. She is good with the whole flower power thing.

[ ...Softcore Megido. WELL. ] I can't actually contest that! Compared to Damara, that's probably accurate. At least, it normally is.

[ HUMANS ARE WEIRDER. ]

Right!!! See? We're friends, because friends do things like that! I am pretty sure at least, I don't usually send pictures to people I don't get on with. Oh, and that's fine! Maybe we could make up a name if you don't, or you can double check with Jade. It's pretty cool looking though! You will be impressed!

What, the softcore thing? What does that even mean, anyway? I don't know who Damara is and with Meenah freaking out like she was I didn't really want to ask for clarification.

[NO TROLLS, DEFINITELY.]

Hehehe, yes that is definitely something only friends do. So lay it on me. THe flower I mean, because now you have my interest all nice and piqued.

Ummm. [ ...she's...a little awkward on this topic because well. ] It's hard to explain! I don't think you'd be able to understand her if you met her, and that's probably a good thing. Just try not to be alone with her, either.

[ RUDE ]

Oh, sure!

[ brb and attaching...this. ]

Does she have a speech impediment or something? But alright I will keep that in mind. Never stay in a room alone with Damara, if she ever shows up here. Hey... now that I think about it, none of them have been here before have they? Or am I misremembering. The teen ancestors, I mean.

[He opens the attachment and stares at it, quirking a brow.]

Yup, you got me. I have never seen a flower like this before. Kinda cool looking though! But for some reason I get the feeling it probably didn't smell very nice? I could be wrong it just doesn't look like a particularly pretty-smelling flower.

She has an East Beforan accent. I guess that might not matter here, but... [ BUT THEN PEOPLE WOULD BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HER... ] Also I don't think so! Although even though I'm saying that, I feel like I am not quite right? ...It's vague, but I seem to remember seeing one of them around, once.

[ #unclear 4th wall memories ]

It is cool, right? I think it smells interesting but not particularly nice. But not particularly bad, either? I think it's neater than the usual pretty, nice-smelling flowers, though.

East Beforan? [THAT'S A SCARY THOUGHT, ARADIA, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT.] Search me though, I have no idea either way right now.

[#unclear memories period]

It's a really pretty color. And the uh... are those petals technically? They're interesting, whatever they actually are. Where did you find it?

Yes! Although it's really for the best, I swear. Because - [ okay how does she put this. ] Have you ever seen those hentai things? I am pretty sure that is also a human thing.

[ clearly this conversation can only go good places, except not ]

Oh, I found it a little ways out of Mahogany! When I was walking around, you know.

[ DESECRATING RUINS AND okay no she was just out for a walk, which was sadly ordinary. ]

Uh... I have not seen them, no but I do know what they are. So that is a human thing, yes.

[No, okay, even John realizes there really no possible way that anything she can say following "Have you ever seen those hentai things" that will be even remotely okay. So it's with some hesitance that he says:]

...why?

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video; i am...so sorry.

video; WELL SHE DID ASK FOR DETAILS

video; SHE KNEW NOT WHAT SHE GOT HERSELF INTO...

video; SHE DOESN'T EVEN MIND

video; OH GOOD....

video; nor do i ever

video; ;u;

video; <3

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