moveslikestrider

ugh shit my head feels like it got smashed up against a couple of walls
if this is what a hangover feels like that noise can skip right off somewhere
i dont even care where just somewhere??
ahahaha that was not a witty sentence at all
f minus for dave strider and his attempts to sort himself out
speaking of that why does it feel like im in a vice thats
[There's a rustling sound from the gear followed by a sharp inhale of breath.]
is this for real seriously
i cant even decide what to think about this because im not getting enough air in this two sizes too small shirt get up
i mean it makes my ass look incredible
this is so stupid i cant even lift a leg without my pants threatening to give up the ghost
who the hell decided to shrink my sweet gear thats just a traversity
well its not exactly sweet its something out of a renaissance fair
how the fuck am i going to get out of this stuff its pasted onto me like glue
who the hell would do that though that just seems dumber than spending all this time remarking about this
[There's a growl that echoes before Dave keeps going.]
what oh hey
i remember you
feels like its been a year since we shared the sky together and went darting around like we lost our minds
why did i give you shades that just seems so dumb in retrospect like trying to pay homage to something when the real deal is around
but between you and me this doesnt feel like my life anymore
i couldnt really believe it when i had it because its so picture perfect straight out of some fantasy a lonely guy might have

--RRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-- wait what the fuck?

[Dave's soliloquy about his ill-fitting clothes is brought to an abrupt halt by the tail end of a very loud, very aggravated shout. It might be hard to tell exactly who the voice belongs to at first, since it can be a little difficult to judge nonsensical yelling. But once he starts speaking, it becomes clear that the voice belongs to John Egbert.]

Where the hell am I? [A slight pause, during which time we can only assume that John takes survey of his surroundings and discovers...] DAVE!!!! Oh my god, it's great to finally see you again! Wherever here is!

[There's an array of vague bumping, stumbling, and rustling noises that we're going to assume is John getting out of his own bed and moving over to Dave's. Because that's exactly what it is. Unfortunately, he still doesn't seem to have remembered how to use his indoor voice because he's still kind of yelling.]

I missed you so mu-- where are my sweet god tier pajamas? What the hell is this, it doesn't even fit!!!

[There's a sound almost like laughter but it's a bit muffled.]
ok ok lets remember not to bellow like some beast
were in a hospital here
what if you woke some poor old lady or something

Why are we in a hospital...?

[It's quieter, but...ultimately, not enough. Because before Dave gets the chance to answer another growl can be heard, but it's decidedly not of the Pokemon race.]

Jesus fucking Christ will the two of you SHUT THE FUCK UP?!

[It sounds like something fluffy and soft hit at least one of them at a rather high velocity followed by a second one and then more from the now recognizable voice of Rose Lalonde.]

I swear to god neither of you know how the fuck to be quiet do you? Is that a hard concept? I thought not but apparently you both still know how to surprise me! Jesus fuck my head feels like it's splitting open ugh. Fucking asinine Skaia-vexing addlepates I swear to GOD.

[ooc: Translation with no colors: here.]

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[She ruffles Dave's hair affectionately and walks over to hand Rose the sunglasses. Mom also makes a point to ruffle John's hair with as much affection when she passes him.]

No problem! I've had too much experience with hangovers before.

[Mom sits down on an unoccupied bed, crossing one leg over the other.]

So, you three mind telling me what happened? I assume this was one of those comas in which you experienced whatever was going on in our universe.

A whole of nothing happened. [He's just going to be brutally honest here because this is tell mom the facts hour. Like they're discussing Law and Oddish.] We wallowed in our own filth because there was literally nothing else to do unless we wanted to hang out with the dead departed ghosts who were dying again because of some space pimp.

This fell apart. That fell apart. Some other shit happened that I don't even care about and when we made it turns out one of us went Sith Lord since we last saw her. She ported our loser asses to the land of green and I saw up John's nose. There's a lot of hair up there, ok. You need to trim that shit before you look like some gnome's long lost cousin.

How can you even get that much hair up there, I don't see what is genetically the point.

Edited 2013-06-22 07:01 (UTC)

[[Rose takes the sunglasses and puts them on gratefully, then shrugs at John.]] I'm sure I'll be fine if I take a couple more.

As for what happened...basically what Dave said. It was pretty uninteresting.

O...kay, if you say so. [He doesn't sound convinced though.]

[He tunes back into the conversation just in time to hear Dave talking about his nose hair and his expression shifts from concerned to indignant at the drop of a hat. A hand flies to his nose involuntarily.]

There is not oh my god what the hell are you talking about? I'm not a gnome and when did you even see up my nose?

Oh, dear. I hope there's not a Darth Vader to go along with that Sith Lord.

[She thinks for a moment.]

Yet, you're supposedly in the Alpha session, right? I take it you didn't see Jane and friends while you were there?

Nope. Didn't get to see them, just green blazes from someone who went off the deep end and don't lie John I can see your nosestache from here. You can fly with that.

We didn't?

[John picks up one of the pillows from his bed and chucks it towards Dave's head. There's a pretty respectable amount of force behind it, and John looks pretty p.o.'d so that probably explains that.]

I do not and I cannot, you ass!

[John, for the love of god please focus on the actual conversation at hand here.]

Nope. We entered the session and Darth Vader went sup now bye bye, porting us to some planet with grass on it. Like I- [The pillow smashes into Dave and he reels at the force before seizing it and throwing it back with equal force.] Rude. So rude, John.

Talking here.

[For some reason, it's like the pillow hitting Dave makes Mom realize something that should've been glaringly obvious. She looks at each of them before settling back on Dave and pointing at him.]

You're not boob height anymore.

[She looks and points at Rose.]

You've got boobs.

[Finally, she does the same to John.]

You got up to boob height, if only barely, and you're on the lanky side.

[Pause.]

I left you three for like an hour and you go through puberty while I'm gone? That's really rude.

Nothing we can help, mom. [[It really isn't. Though she's sorry!]]

At least I can reassure you that Dave will always be your little baby boy!

Spouting lies, more like it! [Not that he's not totally going to take a moment to examine his schnoz once he and Rose get back to the hotel room. Gj, Dave you've got him paranoid about it now.]

Is that really what happened though? Just like that?

[Admittedly, he's surprised to hear lanky used to describe him. His bone structure didn't change after all, he's still pretty stocky it's just what's attached to the bones that did a little changing. But whatever, he can deal with lanky. Even though he really doesn't hold a candle to the Knight of Lank over there.]

Happened just like that. Unless you mean the growing thing, then hell if I know. But dude, I am not little anymore. What the hell about me is tiny?? [He stands up his full height. He's reached Kanaya and Dirk's level of height.

He pauses because the boob height comments makes him cough. Mom. Why.]

Yeah uh, anyway. Not something we could help.

Aww, all three of you will always be my darling little baby children, even when you're 30.

[Because, Dave. Just because.]

Well, at least John is at a good height for it.

[Granted, Dave's height won't deter her from giving him boob hugs.]

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