moveslikestrider | Scratch it [Video] Fourth wall [Action for Golden Rod]

[In the Game Corner at one of the tables a Dave in a black pants suit peels the wrapper off of a candy cane and peers at the spread on the table.]

I'm telling you, that asshole over there is cheating. It's all over his face, look at him.

[The person being pointed at cracks open a bottle of apple juice and takes a swig. Unlike the other Dave he's a little older with a shade monocle. His clothes aren't so fancy, just a plain shirt and jeans assemble as he fiddles with the stack of Doritos to his left.]

Look you just want to see me lose all of my hard earned chips. What's the world coming to these days that some wet behind the ears little snob can jeopardize a good game.

[A third Dave is the one people are used to seeing around. He waves a chip at the other two.] This is exactly what I've been saying but you weren't listening to me.

See. I warned you bro.

But do you listen? Nooooo.

[A fourth Dave, dressed in his red God-Tier pyjamas and with a Drifloon hat sat upon his head, fiddles with the stack of chips beside him to line them up perfectly before shifting his candy cane in his mouth to speak.]

Holy shit. I can’t believe this is even happening. Why is this happening.

[He reaches out to pick up a couple of his chips, tossing them into the center and looking at the first two Daves.]

How about instead of arguing you take these final moments to kiss your chips goodbye. Tell them you love them and give them a fond farewell before I rake them in.

I'm not giving them a weeping send off because I'll be opening my arms to the wide world of your precious cheesy friends.
[The third Dave responds as he leans back to study the cards going down on the table. He checks his cards and nods to the monocle wearing Dave. He's slid over a card as he discards one.] This is happening because every time the world goes wacko other versions of us show up. I'm just keeping you all in one place.

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[The third Dave flicks a couple of chips into the center as if he hadn't heard John. He leans back and tugs his shades down to look like some ringer leader of this one man oddity show.]

Will you ever stop that zapping around like you're a bug zapper on the prowl for defenseless mosquito. I know that war is important to you but damn try to stay in one spot for a bit.

Dude, I'm not trying to do this I swear to god! Actually... [He leans in, lowering his voice a little.] It's worse than it was last time. This time it's like what happened back home. Like, before I wound up here? I was at last year's Christmas party...

[Guess what he just saw in real time, Dave. Guess what?]

[There's a long moment of silence. He's pretty sure he knows what event it was but he has to ask. Like a masochist.] Which part of that party??

I can't answer that question on account of the fact that the event in question didn't actually happen.

[Yeah, you really don't have to ask but here's your metaphorical spanking anyway.]

Edited 2013-12-01 10:31 (UTC)

Yeah that didn't happen. Did you ever get that video away from Rose? [Let it die, Dave. Let it die.]

...do I really have to answer that? What do you think?

[Of course not, Dave. It's Rose.]

Edited 2013-12-01 22:31 (UTC)

She's going to show it when we least expect it. We have to find a way to idk mess up the video.

Edit it.

Something.

[Before new years. He has no doubt she'll be 'Let's look at your previous shenanigans'.]

Edited 2013-12-02 02:47 (UTC)

For the briefest of moments, I thought about grabbing her 'gear. But I didn't want to mess things up, you know? Who knows what sort of effect something as simple as that could have had on us!

Maybe if I go back to that point again I'll try and like...sneakily grab it from her once she's in her drunken stupor.

[Dave leans forward and jabs John in the chest with a wrapped up candy cane.] Much as I'd love to say yeah sure do it. Don't.

[He drops the sugary treat before his best bud and gets back into his seat properly.] I can pretty much feel how it's supposed to go and everything went like it should.

Don't screw with time. That just ends badly. Even if it means not erasing footage that macking we claim didn't happen but it did.

Dude, trust me I know! [He takes the candy cane and unwraps the straight end, sticking it in his mouth.] Hence why I said "briefest of moments."

I was mostly joking about taking it from her later. I can't even control when or where I go so the chances of going back to last Christmas again are probably pretty slim. I have yet to go to a certain time twice. Well...you know, excluding whenever I come back to the present.

...That still sounds like time travel and it makes me nervous. [He crunches the end of his candy cane with a frown and his brows furrow.] I mean if it's changing things that are meant to be without the whole doomed line business, that's,

[Really damn bad.]

not something I can predict and pretty sure you'd be running Rose's seer sight ragged. Idk though because I'm the time dude not the lighty flighty broad watching you sleep and breathing heavily.

I'm being careful, don't get your panti-- dude, no. Come on. Rose wouldn't do something like that.

[Focusing on only the most important things here.]

Are you sure? I mean you're already sleeping in her domain why wouldn't she sit there and write a thesis about your slumbering.

Maybe she's sizing you up for the grand meal on your wedding night. Will he live to procreate and continue his genes or will I eat him first, she wonders.

...I'm so done with you. Done

She secretly has eight legs and hangs from the ceiling. You just don't know because she's been waiting till you sleep to climb up there.

Done!

[Look, see, this is him. Heading for the door.]

[Done.]

Scratch it [Video] Fourth wall [Action for Golden Rod]

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