moveslikestrider | [Video ---> Text]

[A kid with rad shades on adjusts the feed, and if you look closely you can see his left eyebrow is twitching a little.]

Okay, so. After that, [A pause as he looks off screen, away from the end of cycling road that stretches upwards behind him.] report.

[Twitching in that eyebrow just gets worse. It has nearly reached out of control levels. Dave mutters a few swear words and steps out of the frame after kicking the stand on his bike down so it stays in place. He appears a moment later.]

Anyway. Getting to the point of all this. First off, newcomers, yo. Yes this is a real place and if you got questions, just ask'em.

[He holds up a hand and a large Salamence with pointy shades lands quietly at his side.]

To anyone around longer than a week. There was a survey going round before about gathering up who has rolled through here and what worlds have the most representation. We were looking for patterns or something like that. Couldn't find the results, for those of you I talked to. I figure we might as well do another one.

I'll even forgo my red text and do this properly. Because it isn't a joke, it's a fact finding tour of the gear network.

[It switches to text from here.]

Name (obvious)
How many people are here from your universe? (if i need to explain this one shame on you dudes)
How many people have BEEN here from your universe?(as in what people are no longer here and how many times)
What's your universe even like? (what was the most common what themes etc)
How long have you been here? (someone remind me if i forgot anything from the last one)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dave stares at the list, seeing the faces he knows besides the names and taps His, then Gamzee, and Tavros.] What? I share my long time offender of rolling through a lot with these two?

The purple bonerfoot and El toro??

Purple... bonerfoot? [What the actual fuck.]

Do I want to know or should I just leave that one alone And move onto, yes: the three of you are locked in a tie. Though Tavros is best poised for breaking the the record at this point. Since he is the only one of the three of you who isn't here right now.

Maybe if I wave a red flag he'll come thundering in. [Probably not. The guy wasn't too bad compared to some of them.] Of course you want to know what I mean. Have you seen a cod piece before?

Y... yes?

[Now he's even less sure that he wants to know.]

[Dave holds up his hands and spreads them half a forearm length length apart.] Boner.

[He deadpans as he sways his hands like as if he's playing with a breeze.] The bard godtier has a cod piece. His was purple and that's all I saw of him, except for his eyes. Only time I ever saw him on the great meteor ship 'I want off right now'.

Wait... wait. Back up. Gamzee went godtier? [He is hearing this right, right? We are talking about the same former troll here, yes? Wears juggalo paint, either stoned off his ass or completely nuts?]

No. He's faking it. He's just got the gear for it. [He slaps his thigh once and holds up a hand.] Dunno why. None of us know what the shit is going on with him.

...well okay then. [No but seriously. What?] And suddenly I am extremely thankful that my class was heir instead of bard. I will take pun tier over boner tier any day.

I'll take my Renaissance tier over all of that. ...what exactly do you do as hair besides be a blow hard.

Uh... well I can't speak for all heirs, since... you know, different aspects and all. But I could definitely do more than blow hard, I will have you know!

[He folds his arms over his chest, looking distinctly ruffled.]

Aside from making tornados, blowing things away, and being able to make objects fly; I could also become the wind. Like... as literally as that sounds. We're talking full-body dissipation and rematerialization here.

I am basically Houdini's slippery wind-ghost.

[He takes a second to process that. He himself time travels and exploits time to fight. He's fast as hell and hard to hit. But actual ninja like antics? His eyebrows both go up and he blinks a few times.]

...that's really fucking cool. You're a real life ninja.

So hold up. [He holds up his hands as his mind races.] Could you BE a hurricane, like literally speaking.

Edited 2013-08-17 22:50 (UTC)

Hm... [He scratches his chin.] I dunno! I never tried that. I mean I didn't even realize I could do the whole become the wind thing until about a year ago. [A beat.] A year ago, home time, I mean. You know like... bah! [He waves both hands dismissively.] You get it.

I want to say no? Since hurricanes as involve rain and lightning and all that, which are out of my jurisdiction. I'm not Storm or anything.

[You're welcome for that mental image, Dave.]

[Dave gives John a flat stare.] Why did you put it like that. I'll never unsee it now.

Would you rather I had gone with "there's only one way I can think to make rain and I don't think anybody would like that"? Because I could have gone that route if it would make you happier.

[#mature]

[His shoulders twitch. Then he laughs. Dave shakes his head while shoulders keep twitching. He can't hide the amusement in his voice.] Oh my god. You're a sick man, John. How would you make it hail? Piss cubes?

Hey now, I had the decency not to say it until you complained about my alternative. Clearly, I am not the only sick one here.

Also, excuse you but I could rock the hell out of a spandex body suit. Who would want to unsee that?

Too many to list. [Not even missing a beat at all. Maturity at its finest.]

Never said I wasn't warped, look who raised me. That's like a walking flag of all spawn brought up under this hand will be weird. Even genetically there's no chance to avoid it. Rose is a lot like Bro.

Like a lot.

Pffftttt. She may have inherited some of his weirdness but at least Rose would never do something like send you an intricately detailed picture of a whale penis.

I think you are overexaggerating just a bit there.

[No John. She really can be terrible when she wants to, you haven't seen shit.]

[He pushes his shades up and leans forward.] Stare into my eyes, bro. Do these look like the eyes of a liar? You remember that she used to try to climb insi-

Okay, I'm not even going to lie to myself, she tries to get inside my head every day.

You haven't seen the face of the abyss yet.

[John shrugs.]

Hey as long as the abyss doesn't involve hypo-realistic sea mammal peen, you won't hear me complaining too much. That's all I'm saying.

Mention it to Rose. She'll be sure to help you with that. [He's not even trolling just suggesting John's doom.]

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