moveslikestrider | Route IC Contact

...Dave.
I'm up to my wrist in puppet tentacles.

Edited (I can date I swear) 2013-08-13 09:48 (UTC)

[...he gets the text when he's munching a sandwich.]

[...]

[Why is she out to ruin his SOUL?! Not to mention his windpipe. He'd choked on a chicken salad sandwich and hacks for a good five minutes to ensure his continued existence is going to happen.]

[What is she even doing.

Why that.

Of all things.

Why.

That.]

there are so many things wrong with that statement i cant even touch it
what the hell rose

Don't blame me.
Blame our father.
I was minding my own business and then suddenly I'm being buried in puppets.
Or I guess plush toys is more of an accurate description but the point still stands.

so youre basically telling me bros in the vicinity and to watch the ceiling for scuttling spider ninjas
dont even pretend you didnt enjoy the puppets
because i know where you got your creepy from and it wasnt mom

Edited 2013-08-14 00:33 (UTC)

Well of course I enjoy them.
I honestly don't see what you were complaining about all our lives.

Then of course, I'm simply covered in squiddles.

i dont even want to know youre imagining
in fact lets just focus on the usual banter
i had a kermit dong drag across my agonized face
being buried in a rumpus of plush rumps with quivering noses we cant even pretend are just renditions of pinocchio all pointed at them
yeah i cant even guess why i would bitch about it

Exactly.
Why would you complain about something as enjoyable as that?
I would love to experience being surrounded by such cute plush toys.

now you have
tell him to focus it all on you

There are two things wrong with that plan, Dave.
One, why would I deprive you of his love?
Two, you really think I can control him?

no one can control him
but youre the new shiny on the block attract his attention like some bird of paradise
flap around and dance in the trees like hey dude look over here hey hey hey
that isnt love its torture of the polyfil kind

It's love.
It's love in it's purest form.
And I can try, but I make no promises.

i have all the faith in your distraction abilities
all of it
so seriously why are you in a pile of push
is bro seriously around

Not that I know of, no.
I'm not sure how he managed it, but then he's Bro.
Dad's always got some way to get us.
You should know that better than anyone.
And I mean honestly with all the different types of Pokemon at his disposal to help him accomplish the impossible??

thank you
i hadnt thought of lil cal the shuppet in a while
now i cant get it out of my head

You're quite welcome.

...say. I might be able to get that image out of your head, if you're interested in doing me a favor.

what favor is this

Well I've been...writing a book.
A non-tentacle, no magic porn book.
And I...might be interested in getting some opinions on what I have so far.
If you would be interested in reading it.

nonporn
are you sick
are you dying
yeah sure ill read it

Hey, if you're more interested in the porn I have a lovely story about two boys named Jean and Dale.
I'm sure you'd find Dale and his stoic, sunglasses wearing attitude to be enthralling. ;)
Cool, thank you.
I'll pass you the notebook then.

oh my god
youre not seriously writing porn of me and john are you
this is revenge for drinking from the carton last week isnt it

Edited 2013-08-14 09:43 (UTC)

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