yo. im bored. nothing the hell is happening today. what are you up to. whats your status re: coming to pewter? are you on your way? whats been going on in davetown? tell me everything. inquiring minds need to know.
[read: he misses you and he's feeling talkative today, give him attention.]
not much going on in dave town im going to be on the way pretty soon going to hang out with dirk then take off because uh they have all this romance stuff and its none of my business snoop is restless most of the eggs i got hatched bagon still needs a week or two to hatch should hatch the moment i get there get a pair of shades ready we got a badass in the wings
so here i am the curious cat gonna lose my third life if i ask but my ears are at attention and my tails all perked and twitching and i gotta know gotta figure it out how the fuck do you write a rap
i got the stanzas and the rhymes of poetry down pat locked up tight but i always fight to get the timing right with these frivolous freestyle slam poetry beats and snares and ticks and tocks and im just saying its crazy hearing them from you flowing out like you arent trying and bottom line the one to sign at the bottom of the page that gives you every right to gauge how poorly this veritable word maze is the bottom line is ... ..... .........................
aight aight i think your rhymes pretty tight dont go frettin bout ya timin it takes a little rhymin to get it right
so i just gotta tell ya
im doing jack shit laying on my back and staring at the cracks in the ceiling just got that empty feeling missing you guys so hard im wheeling wishing i could be stealing a few winks out of doc sandman i keep saying come on knock my pan man right the fuck out dont go making me pout
davyyyyyyyyyy ...wait i think thats missing a letter o well n e way hows ur valentines going are you taking that blind alien chick on a date or janey? xucfdsjka fuck its like i cant spell that word anymore *cuz theyre both cute girls and i think theyd be good 4 u unless u have some dudes in mind in which case u better point em out to me so that i can evaluates them
oh my god its fine were all just hanging out as friends and dude i only dated terezi a couple times?? and whats with everyone going omg dave go with jane you two are like jelly and jam wait uh hows youres
[Was there a real reason to her shouting into her Pokegear? No.]
DAVE! I AM RIDING A DRAGON AND IT IS REALLY COOL RIGHT NOW. I'M PROBABLY HUNDREDS OF FEET IN THE AIR WHICH COULD RESULT IN MY DEATH IF I FALL OFF AND IT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING I'M NOT THE ONE IN CONTROL.
[ And almost immediately following a certain text sent HERE -- ]
Hey, Dave. This is Val. I've got a question for you. According to Bro, it's right up your alley, but a lot of things that fall into the 'according to Bro,' category tend to be pretty dubious, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and hope this isn't traumatic. What's 'tsundere' mean?
[So after This conversation, Bro is feeling a bit... sappier than normal. It's mostly that it was a pretty big eye opener as he spoke, and suddenly he wants to make sure he takes the opportunity to tell Dave shit that he doesn't tell him often. Just so he knows.]
[The day has been so shitty and full of reminders of what is going ON back home that he hasn't had time to sit down. When he gets the message, he's in the kitchen needing a second to himself to just deal.
He stares at the gear and has to rub at his eyes under his shades. When he looks again, the words are still there. How many times has he wanted to see them or hear them?]
Hi Dave-san, it's Tenten! I remember we were talking about Skarmory eggs not too long ago, and it turns out that mine bred with a Noctowl. I can send you an egg if you still want it!
[It's a quiet little laugh coming from the gear. It's a bit high pitched and a little raspy. Creepy? Maybe. And perhaps a little... familiar, to Dave. Surely it must be exciting to him though, right?
Because when Dave finally looks at the video, he will be greeted by one thing, and one thing only. His best motherfucking friend.]
[When Dave turns on his gear and checks his messages, you know what he'll find? Lots and lots of black text. It looks like Bro messaged him from the day he went into the sleep coma all the way up to now. It's all meaningless shit. Lots of 'dave. hey dave.' and 'wake your ass up.' and also 'i swear to god im tempted to put you in a thong and hang you from a flag pole if you dont get the fuck up right now.'
Luckily he didn't. There're lots more, but they're rather mundane. Mostly Bro just rambling about pointless shit like butts and puppets and how much Lil Cal misses his ass.
But today, there's even more, as he's found out that Dave is awake. Instead of doing the sensible thing and going to see him, he's just going to rely on technology.]
dave. yo. hey bro. i know youre awake. come on. pick up your gear. dave. daverykins. yo. dave. dave. derv. derve strerder. tsundave stridere. dave dave bo bave. banana fana fo fave. me mi mo mave. oh my fucking god. what the hell are you doing? i mean besides not paying any attention to me. im bored. did you know that blake is a pony? yeah. you should ask him about that one day. i mean if you ever see this. also masato has a nice butt. just thought you should know. fuck me with a cactus, talking to myself is so goddamn fun. christ. are you still a gradient? you were asleep a while after all. like goddamn how long was it? six months? a year? it feels like it was a goddamn long time. we still need to go dragon hunting. why havent we done that yet, you dickhead? oh right. because youve been asleep forever and a day. dave come the fuck on pick up. stop doing whatever it is youre doing. im gonna die. nevermind. its too late. i see the light. goodbye. im gone. rip. here lies bro. his brosonthing ignored him. it was fatal. he leaves all possessions to lil cal. heeheehee. hooohooohoo.
[Finally clad in a shirt that fits and a pair of jeans he just stares at the messages. He scrolls through them, reading the text and paling at somethings and thankful for others. Namely that he was in the center and safe from tampering.]
oh my god cant you wait until a guy has clothes on that fit i mean thats a huge deal because i was threatening to pop seams and get arrested for being too beautiful genetics made me like andonis it is me and no im not sporting the dye anymore this is all golden sunkissed sweet sweet tresses here though i got enough if i spike it i could pull off your look maybe i should do that once eventually some day i dunno im going to root around and see interests i can develop here chill out i was only asleep for a week even if it feels like way longer than that wait do you mean blake the cop fuck bro you do not mess with cops did you get arrested did he bust you are you in the slammer and thats why you didnt visit do you need bail dont go making that laughter god damnit
[Perhaps the worst thing about John getting a house of his own (well half his own, anyway) is the fact that it means he doesn't have to rely as much on PC storage to house his ridiculous menagerie of 'mons. One would think that this isn't such a bad ting, actually, at least until they remembered that about half of John's roster is comprised of ghosts. And given the holiday season...]
[Yeah, he's just letting ALL the fuckers wander around and do as they please. Well...save for Giant who has no choice but to stay outside because he's just too damn big to fit in the house. (He totally taps on the upstairs windows sometimes though if he wants some company, what a sweet Golurk.)]
[Most of them are content enough to stay outside and "haunt" the yard-wide graveyard that John and Aradia set up. Imhotep the Cofagrigus is notably one of these very ghosts. But not today. Or at least, not all of today.]
[It starts that morning, while Dave is eating whatever it is he's eating for breakfast. Through the window, he might just spot Imhotep outside. And for a moment, it might look as though the ghost is looking right at him with something of a spine-tingling expression. But only just a moment, so maybe Dave was imagining things? Who really knows but the coffinmon is certainly just playing harmlessly now with one of John's Lampents.]
[Throughout the day however, it almost seems as though Imhotep is actually following Dave. Whenever Dave looks out the window? Imhotep is fucking there. Sometimes looking at the boy and other times just there doing nothing but minding his own business. But still just there. And at some point after noon, he actually comes in the house for a bit. He never seems to do anything sinister though he's still just...you know, there. In the background. Wherever Dave is.]
[At least until Dave returns to his room, at whatever point that may be, and finds the Cofagrigus floating just behind his door. Not close enough to get whacked by it, but close enough to be completely and utterly terrifying to someone who isn't expecting to find a 5'7" sarcophagus inside their room.]
[But before Dave has much of a chance to react, the sarcophagus springs open and what is quite possibly the most terrifying mummy in existence pops out, hands raised above its head.]
BOO!!!
[No, okay it's actually John wrapped up in toilet paper. J/k about the terrifying thing.]
[He'd started the day with a work out, making the Skamory feather he'd sharpened to a fine edge sing in the air.He'd wove patterns he'd learned when he was barely strong enough to hold a blade. Left, right, left, right. Throat, stomach, back and forth.
Having some sugary cereal felt like a reward for staying in shape. He'd been pouring the milk over it when he thought he caught sight of the coffin poke.
...
Had it been staring at him?
Now he's more than used to John's circus of weirdos that he's collected much like Dave's own adventuring party of fire breathing freaks. Pokemon had their quirks. But he'd never been comfortable with Yamask and when it evolved, he'd been less happy with it. He just can't forget it used to be a human that died in some god awful way.
It's enough to wonder if when they 'die' in the poke world if there's some dead Dave out there, or many. He sets the bowl down a bit too hard at the thought and walks away.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Not bothering with that.
Through out the day he gets this impression that he's being watched and followed. It sets his paranoia screaming and twisting around like a wailing banshee and Dave does exactly what he's done for years. He pointedly tries to ignore it.
But like a pressure cooker, the anxiety mounts until he's jumping at shadows and watching for the Cofagrigus with the itch to whip out a sword and make it go the HELL away.
Especially when it comes inside.
The little inner child in Dave starts chanting that shit is about to go DOWN. Still he acts like it isn't bothering him. But his steps are quicker, silent and he moves like he's going to be attacked any moment.
He finally goes to his room to retrieve the feather blade and whirls around to see it right there. Something emerges with a shout and Dave does the first thing that comes to mind. He shifts his weight and swings his right fist.]
so looks like its that time of the year again. why am i texting you youre probably wondering. intead of doing the sensible thing and saying this to your face. oh no reason. ok no theres a reason. you and i both know words are usually easier through text. and ive never been the best at words so theres that too. anyway. the point of this is to say happy birthday. but theres more to it than that. i wasnt really sure what to get you. but i gave it a lot of thought and i came to a realization. which i why i want you to check your PC. you wont find much. just a key. its the key to the old flat back home. in our world. its more symbolic than anything. since i mean you cant just pop over there and make yourself at home. but its yours. youve faced hell and came out the other side a man. a man needs a place to call home. im proud of you dave. you did good.
Dave. I'm having a minor crisis here that kind of probably really needs your input. And potentially your dragons. And your person. For a handful of days. Are you game for a rescue mission?
im always game for a rescue mission its what i get up for in the morning i just think to myself man im a knight and im not doing shit i should do shit then i roll right the fuck back over for more snooze time whats the deets on our exciting adventure
Uhm...Dave. I think I miiiight have lost the bet we had.
[She...suddenly has this high leveled Arcanine???? Like...oops. Hello, I am dog and I am with dog owner. Nice to meet you.] I didn't mean to adopt him, but I guess I did!!!
[Dave has been sprawled on top of his own Arcanine. The things he does to keep warm are varied and this is on of the better ones. Kim the fire dog looks up at the same time he does.] What? Ok, when did that fuzzball show up?
I don't know about you but I am sorely missing talking with my twin. Especially at stupid hours in the morning over pizza and bouts of insomnia. Did you know that the gentle rock of the ocean isn't like being rocked to sleep at all? If not, well consider yourself thoroughly informed. It's not, and if you have trouble sleeping and you don't have any sleeping pills, you're basically fucked. So how are you?
stuck wide awake so i went down and got some pizza and cheesy bread did you know i can eat two pizzas by myself i feel like this is a magical discovery that has to be shared the cheese bread is slowly disappeared into my gut to join its tomato friends
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